How Not To Drive, Pt 1

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One time, in band camp….

The year – 1991.

At the time my ride was a 1979 Honda Accord hatch, a cute little FWD car purchased in a time of my life before I discovered the joy of 4WD, and the band equipment hauling mojo of a Subaru.

My college band “Outta Hand” used to practice in the art building at Fresno State (my drummer was palsey walsey with the dean of the art dept… kiss ass). We would smuggle beer and other “musician assistants” into the room where we practiced. Well I never smoke while I play because it makes me play crappy, and I didn’t drink that night, though I can’t be sure of that .

We ended practice around 10:30 pm and load the band stuff in our cars. I was the last to leave. To leave the school parking lot you had to make a turn around an island to get to the exit. Well, they had recently rebuilt and widened the island and, while the concrete was set, they hadn’t filled in the island yet. So I make the turn around the thing like I normally do, but I guess that wasn’t good enough or wide enough because the next thing I know I jump the island curb and ended up getting stuck, much like in cartoons where the car ends up balancing on the edge of a cliff. It had rained that week, the center of the island was a mud pit, and the front end of my car was stuck in the mud like a diving hippo. Since the car was front wheel drive, there was no hope of getting any traction and pulling myself out. Needless to say, the tow truck driver had a great laugh that night.

PS. Exhaust systems have always been my Achilles heel. The week before, I had, for the first time EVER, completely sealed the exhaust system after replacing the head gasket. No leaks at all. It was purring like a kitten. It figures I would completely trash it within a weeks time.