How To Get Out Of Serving On A Jury??? Tell The Truth (to power)

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First, let me say that I have never served on a jury, and am one of those rare individuals who would like to.  Yes, I am a strange animal….  Insane really! If, unlike me, you are normal and don’t want to, here is a tale of how a friend managed to get dismissed from having to fulfill his civic duty.

Jim, my proudly socialist band-mate, went to jury selection yesterday. As an experienced juror several times over, he was in no mood to serve on a jury this time around.  Unhappily, he got through the first round of the selection process, and, given that he had served as a foreman on another jury, was looking more and more likely to be selected this time. The solution? Just tell the court truthfully who you are and what you stand for. Here, paraphrased, is a representation of the rant that freed him from the burden of jury duty:

“Look, I’ve done this several times, and quite honestly, I don’t feel like having to spent my time having to excuse all the lying that goes on in a courtroom, especially from those two….”

Gasps are heard throughout the courtroom as Jim points to defense and prosecution benches. Jim swears the prosecutor smiled just a little.

“And what kind of court system do we have anyway when the let Exxon Mobile get away with destroying the environment and make billions upon billions after the Valdez, and yet some guys trying to make a few bucks selling medical marijuana during a recession get shut down by some stupid judge…”

Even louder gasps from the courtroom as, unknown to Jim until that moment, he was standing in front of the judge in Fresno who recently issued the ruling that effectively shut down the pot dispensaries in Fresno.  Jim, being Jim, now knowing that this is that judge, went on to tell the judge that he has a medical marijuana card and that the judges action has interfered with his ability to get his legal medication.

I’m not sure if I got all the nuances right in the retelling of the event. But, oh, to have been a fly on the wall!!!  And, for those who don’t know Jim, this may sound like it’s a made-up story. For those that DO know him, it’s well within the range of probability. Anyway, needless to say, Jim will not be serving as juror this time around.

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