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News Alert! Santorum Goes Behind The Gr$$n Door!

Story by Rod Steel.

In a surprise move designed to win some votes and donations from the vile left coast, especially the porn G-Spots of Los Angeles and San Diego, Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has thrown a bone to the struggling porn industry. He is proposing that, if elected, he will go on a crusade to shut down internet porn.

At first glance, this appears to be a shot in the eye of an industry that has certainly gained new entry into the lives and wallets of a multitude of lonely high school geeks and frustrated old men who find internet porn an easy outlet to make up for their inability to achieve fulfillment in the real world. But, if you penetrate deeper into the world of porn, you will find that the industry has been decimated and hit hard by the advent of free amateur pornography make readily available by the internet in the last fifteen years. Head accountant for major porn player Brown Chicken Brown Cow productions John Ball says he’s pounded the numbers, and since the internet has penetrated the lives of the average citizen, the porn industry has been laid bare by it. “Not only does free amateur videos hurt our bottom line” he says, “but porn pirates have eaten into the profit margin and the money flow has remained flaccid for many years, causing many lay-off for both production crew and actors, forcing some to become pizza delivery persons, or worse, even teachers!” Ball laments. “Financially, this industry has had steep hills to climb in the last few years. Things really were better in the old days” he says. He explains that Santorums proposals, by restricting porn viewing to the much more profitable DVD’s and even VHS video distribution, it would a real money shot for the industry.

Rick Santorum, on his end, has his own reasons for aggressively whipping the scourge of internet porn into submission. This move will be a real injection of money into our campaign honeypot, and the flow of west coast money for us has been, frankly, viscous and hard to come by, said a top Santorum financial adviser.

Santorum himself had this to say about his proposal:

“I believe in traditional values. There was a time, in the 50’s, when our young… (sob)  wholesome boys learned about sex by innocently sneaking a peak at their Dad’s special magazines hidden between the mattress, or rent a VCR when their parents were away on vacation, and our young adults would go to the good old fashioned friendly prostitute to deal with their needs. Right now thing are so out of hand and perverted. Look at what has happened to this country since porn became so widely available. It’s destroying our country! We have got to restore the proper traditional values of this country when it was great, before it’s too late”.

“And yes, that does include good old fashioned porn values too”.

Real news story Here.