Best…. Craigslist Ad…. EVER!!!!!

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Yes, this was a real craigslist ad! Originally Posted by Orlando Bassist

(I just rechecked the going price for these and have adjusted the price down) A once in a lifetime chance to own a piece of rarely seen but extremely important part of history!
This bass was discovered in the sarcophagus of King Tut’s brother in law Terrence Tut. It was made of a beautiful, but still unknown, blue gem stone that created such amazing sustain that the note they played when closing the sarcophagus was still ringing when it was opened.

The bass was hidden away in a remote part of Hawaii to protect its existence. When Elvis was filming Hunka Hunka Hawaii, he stumbled upon the bass while hooking up with one of the extras in the deep brush. He fell in love with the bass and it’s unique tonal qualities. Many did not know that Elvis was a ferocious slap bass player. He loved the bass so much, he had the producers rename the movie to Blue Hawaii. They shot the original posters for the movie (and incredibly rare version it pictures below), but realized he had stumbled upon the sacred bass and needed to protect its existence. They took the bass away, but kept the name of the movie intact.

The bass was kept secret until Bill Gates discovered the original poster for Blue Hawaii. He was so amazed by the bass that he vowed to use its color for all future Windows operating systems. To this day, the color blue is incorporated into every Windows interface. In fact, the term GUI was originally Bill Gates acronym for “Genuinely Unreal Intonation”. It was later changed to Graphical User Interface to cover the tracks of the existence of the bass. Bill Gates eventually convinced the group responsible for keeping the bass a secret to sell it to him for $10,000,000,000. He promised to build an enormous home in Seattle to protect the bass in the lower catacombs of his mansion that is more secure than NORAD.

Like any truly geeky computer nerd, Bill has a weakness for living, breathing beautiful woman. As a tradeshow, he was introduced to Megan Fox while she was signing autographs for Transformers 2. He was totally smitten and tried everything to get a date with her. When all else failed, he decided to give her the renown “Blue Bass” in trade for the opportunity to actually touch her thigh. She excepted, took the bass home, hung it in her bathroom and had decorators design the room around the color of the bass. One day, while taking a bath, the bass fell into the tub. The unique harmonic quality of the bass caused the water to vibrate with frequencies she’s never experienced before or since. Before long, she was missing filming schedules due to her “dozen a day” bathing habits. It got so bad, her long time boyfriend broke off their relationship. Seeing the trouble it was causing in every facet of her life, she threw the bass out the window and got her life back together.

It just so happened I was in LA and stumbled upon a homeless person with this beautiful instrument in his shopping cart and asked it I could buy it. $75 later, I came into possession of the bass. Not long after, I was being tailed by black helicopters and SUVs. I finally stopped and asked what was going on and was told the story of the bass. I threatened to go public if they didn’t back off and they left me alone.
This week, I realized I was not truly using this bass to its full potential and decided to give someone else the opportunity to enjoy the wonder that is “The most amazing bass on the planet”. I’m only asking what I have into it. So here’s your chance to own an unbelievable part of history. Don’t wait too long, or they might come for it again.

Clarification: It is a Brownsville Bass. This is a great sounding (active pickups) and great playing bass. There is a ground issue I have not been able to track down, but it’s not overpowering and may be an easy fix. Either way, its a great bass for the money.

I am always honest on my sales and welcome you to come try the bass plugged in so you can play and hear it. I bought a bass that fits my needs better and I don’t need two.

I hope you enjoyed the story line and know you’ll enjoy the bass just as much. Thanks for looking.

Location: Orlando
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1723472029

Huge Hat Tip: Troy McClure at the Talk Bass Forum