It's Bad Movie Saturday!!!

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So, here I am at home on a Saturday afternoon. Normally I would have band practice today,  but today I resigned from the Fresno band, Sugarfly. I like the band-mates, they are good guys, I loved the musicianship; guitarist Chris and drummer Brian are superb players. I also looked forward to working with former CPG vox Jason again. But the musical direction we were moving toward was not the type of music I want to play. The songs we were working on incorporates styles similar to Black Crows and Jeff Buckley. I want to do songs that are more pop oriented; songs that follow the sensibilities of artists such as Dire Straits, Police, and Neil Finn / Crowded House. For all the reasons to be in the band, I know I would not have been happy over an extended period of time, so I decided not to string them along. Now they can find a player who is into the same grove that they are. Even if I hadn’t quit the band, I would have stayed home today anyway, as I seem to have caught a nice little cough from my students (thanks guys) and have been feeling under the weather. I needed the rest.
So anyway this afternoon I tuned into the HD channels on the telly (that’s British for television), and ended up watch two of the more horrible movies ever made. First there was Orca. It’s a Richard Harris vehicle about a fisherman and his killer whale – a really, REALLY pissed off killer whale. Before I tell you anything about the movie, you should know two “facts” of nature that will explain everything:

1. Whales, unlike selfish humans, mate for life.

2. If the whale mate dies, the whale will forevermore wander the ocean, depressed over its loss, pining for the fjords.

So at the beginning of the movie RH’s character, Bill, or Charlie, or whatever, catches, on accident, a female Orca in his fishing net. Well instead of immediately cutting the thing loose, he drags it shipboard, ’cause if he doesn’t, he’ll lose the rest of the catch in the net. Greedy bastard! By taking the out of the ocean, he dooms the whale to death. But before she dies, she stillbirths a cute, little, premature baby Orca. Here’s the problem. The mom’s mate is watching the whole thing from the water. Killing his soul-mate is one thing, but causing the death of the little orcaling, well, this means war!!! The rest of the movie is a whale-tail of revenge. I won’t bother you with the details, because it is not worth either your time or mine. Lets just say it’s cool when Bo Derek gets her leg bit off by the whale, punishment no doubt for bad acting, and revenge IS a dish best sered cold.

The other movie was “Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone”.  Google it. It is sooo bad, it doesn’t even have its own Wiki page.

No Comments to “It's Bad Movie Saturday!!!”

  1. By Scott, January 28, 2007 @ 4:22 pm

    Damn! I am so jealous! I have to go work all day……

  2. By Johnny, January 29, 2007 @ 5:05 pm

    Sounds delightfully bad. Have you ever seen Raptor Island? It’s one of the few movies I’ve seen that are so bad I can’t finish. It pops up on sci-fi every now and then.

  3. By Citizen Deux, January 30, 2007 @ 6:49 pm

    Hey! I sort of liked Spacehunter…but then did you ever see Message from Space? Truly apalling!

  4. By sonicfrog, February 1, 2007 @ 12:47 am

    Never seen “Raptor Island“, but the title does sound delightfully bad. One movie I always wanted to see was the original version of “Slugs” made in the 70’s. The tag line was “They Slime! The Ooze! THEY KILL!!!”. Since a slug is not exactly the fastest moving creature on the planet, I always pictured the film as nothing but one single death scene spanning the entire length of the movie!

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