“It Gets Worse”….

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Not By Much!!!!

witch

God Told Me He Wants Homosexual Boys to Know 2 Things:

1. Jesus loves you even though you make Him vomit; and…
2. It gets worse.

Uhm… WOW????

If I’m a Homosexual Girl, do I feel good not to be included, or a little put off for not to be invited to the party?

And me and all my fellow True Christians™ are going to make darn tootin’ sure that it will continue to get worse until you stop being a damned pervert and become normal, just like me.

IS the Prophetess Debbie channeling Sarah Palin?

America is a Christian country, founded by people who burned witches and hated homos. Secular laws (for now) prevent us from doing the former, but it is the Christian Crusade of the 21st Century to do the latter.

Right… Like we’d ever burn witches again. Burning witches emits CO2 people! Love to try and clear that with the EPA or the California Air Resources Board!

So until you turn your life over to Jesus, who will ask you to be exactly like me, we Christians are going to keep telling you that you are sinful and disgusting until you either become right with the Lord and join Jesus in Glory or kill yourself and join your Beast Master in Hell.

We saw this in the South Park movie…. Uhm… Didn’t look too bad actually.

I love the Christ Jesus will all my heart and He has convicted me that homosexuality is His Father’s vilest creation and that Jesus Himself is whispering in these little homos ears, “Go ahead on do it!” because He has tried and tried and tried to make them Christian but finally realized they were trash lost to Satan.

Now… Come On… This just makes no sense. In the last paragraph you told us we should “become right with the Lord and join Jesus in Glory“, yet, just a few sentences later you say HE tells us to “Go ahead on do it!” GOD, I’m so confused! Does Jesus want us to be gay or not?????

And who writes “He has convicted me” anyway? You probably ought to be “convicted”, though you’d probably get off by reason of inanity.

If any Christians out there know of any teen and preteen homos, let me know their e-mail addresses and/or Facebook accounts. I am organizing Christian Prayer Warriors to hector them until they find Jesus – or a great place to dangle a noose.

We’re going to pray the gay away – one way or another!

“Pray the Gay Away”… Hey, isn’t that a Peaches song????

Here’s more from the Landover Baptist Church.

Realistically, the most shocking and disappointing thing about this article???? (A) They have a freaking trademark on the term “True Christians”!!!! … and (B) It’s a fake!!!!:-) Happy April Fools!!!!

Hey, if they can move the zodiac signs all around, I can mess with the calender!!!!

4 Comments to ““It Gets Worse”….”

  1. By Jeff Alberts, January 20, 2011 @ 6:44 am

    And for some reason we should be tolerant of religion. No one has yet given me a good reason why.

  2. By Jeff Alberts, January 21, 2011 @ 1:41 am

    And yes, I realize this was a spoof, but you can pretty much bet there are those out there who think like that. Radical muslims and Fred Phelps come to mind.

  3. By Sonicfrog, January 21, 2011 @ 5:52 am

    I didn’t realize it was a false alarm until I was ready to post it. On a whim I decided to get more info on the LBC and found I had been had.

  4. By Jeff Alberts, January 22, 2011 @ 2:22 am

    And the only real difference was some of the edgier language.

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