{"id":1269,"date":"2009-01-22T18:22:39","date_gmt":"2009-01-22T18:22:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/?p=1269"},"modified":"2009-01-22T18:22:39","modified_gmt":"2009-01-22T18:22:39","slug":"the-inaugural-poem-that-should-have-been","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/?p=1269","title":{"rendered":"The Inaugural Poem That Should Have Been."},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Bebo\",\"Delicious\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"The%20Inaugural%20Poem%20That%20Should%20Have%20Been.\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>The one read at the ceremony was crap, awefull. As much disdain as I have for some of Rush Limbaugh&#8217;s political ideas, he did offer an alternative poem that was laugh out loud funny, a perfect foil to the original.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Today there&#8217;s a street outside.<br \/>\nOn that street are cars.<br \/>\n And in those cars are people with music on their iPods.\u00a0<br \/>\nAnd they listen.\u00a0<br \/>\nAnd the children in the back of the car, who are also on the road,<br \/>\nmay or may not be in their child safety seats,<br \/>\nin which case the driver will be arrested and the child taken away.\u00a0<br \/>\nWhen the car gets to its destination, it may run out of gas.\u00a0<br \/>\nIf it runs out of gas, it&#8217;s obviously a gas guzzler,<br \/>\nand if it&#8217;s a gas guzzler,<br \/>\nthen we need to harness the energy of the sun and punish the SOB driving the gas guzzler.\u00a0<br \/>\nIf the car gets to its destination with plenty of gas left in the tank,<br \/>\nwe give it a bonus of additional markers at Walmart for the day after Christmas,<br \/>\nwhich is how today was planned.\u00a0<br \/>\nAnd after we go to Walmart and pick up some of the lead paint that is made with our children in mind,<br \/>\nimported from China,<br \/>\nwe will then have a meeting with the Iranians,<br \/>\nwho will love us,<br \/>\nand they will get in their car,<br \/>\nwill also be on their road,<br \/>\nand their road shall never end until they have nuclear weapons.<br \/>\nAnd when we get to the end of the road,<br \/>\nwith the person driving the guzzler,<br \/>\nwith the perhaps or not perhaps child safety seats in the back,<br \/>\nwe will then know the answer to the question,<br \/>\nwhich came first, the chicken or the egg?<br \/>\nAnd why did the egg cross the road to see something better down the road.<br \/>\nBut could the egg have crossed the road without the chicken?<br \/>\nThese are depth questions.<br \/>\nAnd only President Obama has the answers. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>At one point he says: &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry.  If I can do it, it isn&#8217;t art.&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Rush&#8217;s poem was funny, but like the original, it was way too long. I&#8217;m a man who worships at the alter of concise prose.  Here&#8217;s a shorter poem.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Roses are red<br \/>\nViolets are blue<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s a big effing Depression coming<br \/>\nAnd we are so screwed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Compliments of Pogo at <a href=\"http:\/\/althouse.blogspot.com\/2009\/01\/any-praise-for-praise-song-for-day.html#5206269390254228353\">Althouse<\/a>. Well Done!<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s mine, from Bush&#8217;s perspective:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Dang<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s done<br \/>\nHe&#8217;s in<br \/>\nI&#8217;m Out<br \/>\nNu-ceu-ler!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Bebo\",\"Delicious\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"The%20Inaugural%20Poem%20That%20Should%20Have%20Been.\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>The one read at the ceremony was crap, awefull. As much disdain as I have for some of Rush Limbaugh&#8217;s political ideas, he did offer an alternative poem that was laugh out loud funny, a perfect foil to the original.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1269"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonicfrog.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}