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Charlie Kirk – On “Choice” And Empathy, Or Lack-Thereof.

Two observations on some of the dialogue surrounding Charlie Kirk’s opinions and positions being talked about in the wake of his death.

First: His view that being gay is a lifestyle choice.

I’m a gay man. I’ve been hearing this all my life.

I’m sorry, but being gay is not a “lifestyle choice”. Living in a city or in the country, residing on the coast or in the mountains is a lifestyle choice. Straight people, upon reaching puberty, didn’t one day look at both sexes and decided to choose to be attracted to the opposite sex. Being gay, or wherever you are on the sexual orientation scale, is not a choice.

Can one experiment and find what they like?

Sure.

I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but a few years ago I decided I’d try it. That experiment lasted two months. I never liked the taste, it didn’t give me any extra energy, and it only made me sweat. Now, there are some people who experiment with same sex relation, be it sex or just open to maybe having a relationship. Some people find they are actually gay, some maybe fluid and can have meaningful relations with either sex, and some go on in life being heteronormal and feel no need or desire to be anything different.

They are who they are. The only choice is whether they accept it, or not.

Calling it a “lifestyle choice” is willful ignorance of another persons reality. Whether you’re straight, bi, or gay, no one consciously “chooses” it. People chose not to acknowledge this, which makes it easier to dismiss one’s identity as a “wrong” choice, when, in reality, there’s no choice at all.

Now. On empathy.

People have been posting a snippet of Charlie Kirk’s negative views on empathy. Here’s what people have been posting:

“”I can’t stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term that does a lot of damage””

Fans of his are complaining that there’s more to this quote, and it’s taken out of context. That’s fair. Here’s the full quote:

“” So the new communications strategy for Democrats, now that their polling advantage is collapsing in every single state… collapsing in Ohio. It’s collapsing even in Arizona. It is now a race where Blake Masters is in striking distance. Kari Lake is doing very, very well. The new communications strategy is not to do what Bill Clinton used to do, where he would say, “I feel your pain.” Instead, it is to say, “You’re actually not in pain.” So let’s just, little, very short clip. Bill Clinton in the 1990s. It was all about empathy and sympathy. I can’t stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term that — it does a lot of damage. But, it is very effective when it comes to politics. Sympathy, I prefer more than empathy. That’s a separate topic for a different time.””

Now, granted, pointing to Bill Clinton’s political use of empathy to score point is fair game. A deep problem is revealed here. He prefers sympathy over empathy. But sympathy is the more shallow of the two related emotions. Sympathy has less emotional connection within yourself. Sympathy is “I feel bad for this person”, instead of “I can relate to how this person feels. Sympathy allows for easier disconnect, making it easier to not care if your words or action may hurt another.

And this, my friends, is how you get to a place where he, and others before him like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levine etc, can thrive and not care if their words or actions hurt others. It allows someone to call being gay a lifestyle choice, without considering how wrong that statement is.