Good For Him

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Back in the 90’s, when I was trying to get right in my head the reality, and finality, that I am gay, I often used the Serenity Prayer to help me move forward accepting this aspect of my life.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Former GOP chair Ken Mehlman finally accepts the thing he cannot change – he’s gay.

“It’s taken me 43 years to get comfortable with this part of my life,” said Mehlman, now an executive vice-president with the New York City-based private equity firm, KKR. “Everybody has their own path to travel, their own journey, and for me, over the past few months, I’ve told my family, friends, former colleagues, and current colleagues, and they’ve been wonderful and supportive. The process has been something that’s made me a happier and better person. It’s something I wish I had done years ago.”

I’m not sure if straight people can really appreciate the personal turmoil that often comes with personally accepting the fact that you’re gay. possible rejections by family or friends, societal ridicule, and other negative things that come with being gay. Turns out my fears were baseless, my family accepted the shift in reality after I told them, and I can’t think of any friends that I’ve lost as a result of admitting I’m gay. Don’t get me wrong, I know of many gay friends who have been disowned after they spoke up about being gay, but things turned out fine for me. And, I must tell you, when I was able to allow myself to stop trying to feel attracted to women, just that alone made life soooooo much easier. I no longer felt pressured to date anyone to belong to society.

One other aspect that drove me to become at one with myself, is that, in order to keep from being found out, I locked down my heart. I did not ever let myself get too close to another man, as that would be too dangerous and destroy any chance of living a normal life. It would prove that I was gay. So when ever I started to get too close to someone, I would cast him aside. Or I would find myself drawn to guys who I knew were not ready for a relationship. Those were some very lonely years. When I was about 27, I finally realized that I could not continue to live this way. It was killing me from the inside. I never could have the life I have now, being with Greg for fourteen plus years ( that’s about 77 in straight years!) if i would have continued to resist living life honestly.

Mehlman certainly has a bit of a tough row to hoe concerning some of his Republican acquaintances. But, if some no longer want to be associated with him…. Oh well. Those are people you don’t need as friends anyhow. And maybe, if he hasn’t already, he’ll be able to find a person to share him life and heart with.

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